Mr Wrong

I think I shouldn’t be Mr Tan, I should be Mr wrong. Every damn thing I do in my life gets screwed up. Infact I screw up everything I touch. Well I try to earn a bit of cash and I get into a whole big mess.. I got out of that mess after a lot of work.. and guess what I got back in it trying to help someone out. I try to help someone get over a relationship, I end up making things worse.
Gosh I can think of a million things I’ve screwed up. You know whats the best part about me? I can’t even seem to open myself up to anyone. It’s this natural reaction, everytime I try its like this protective mask slips on and I totally can’t talk about personal stuff anymore. Its like this mask that slips on.. to protect myself? I think. I even conjure up scenarios for my shrinks so they would have something else to think about. Well there used to be two people I could talk to.. but now one prob thinks im a stupid ass for not listening to her and the other prob just thinks im a jerk. See how perfect my life is? I’m awesome!
You know what people? im the root of all evil, the start of all sin. How do u live a life that is lost? How do you trust someone when that person might be the one who's going to break you. How do you love when all you've gotten from her is pain? No one deserves sadness but me.

Bright are the days when the darkest sun sets

Tribute to Michael Jackson

Aww he died =( So this post is for the awsome Michael Jackson! May he rest in peace. Hmm i wonder what will happen to the kids.. One of his most awsome songs.. i dono why i cant put the video but heres the link.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l9lq8oaK5Mw

Waddup??

Omg how i met your mother is like the best show ever! haha super funny! The show is Legen.. wait for it.. wait for it.. I hope your now lactose intolerant.. DARY! Wooh suit up baby! =D

Heh Awsome.. I wana learn to sing jazz! =D hmm talking abt singing.. my guitar is rotting in my room! damn no mood to learn myself. anyone wana teach me? =P

A life of lessons
Was the road he took
This pain was true and real
But deep down it wasn’t such a trill

Like a glass shattered in a million pieces
He will never be complete again
Till she comes and piece him back again

These words like a thousand moths
Trapped somewhere in a lampshade
Flapping their wings desperately wanting out
But they just burn and bang
With each hope that slowly fade away

For alone now he stand
Broken and damaged once again
Will he ever be the same
Or will this just be the tale of a broken man

Lifes a beach!

Wooh lifes a beach! was crazy! the bands were so so.. the mosh pit was insane! full of muts =Z Haha anw kinda funny.. 2 wallets 1 phone 1 ipod was lost there =P and some guy lost his bag although it was slinging on him.. hmm
Met a really interesting gal there too. haha she left school at 14 and is not travelling the world! damn such a fun life!

Bah i look really stupid here! Who cares! =D

Lifes a bitch but im still living it!

Ok this is really sucky. This morning i had people drilling stuff above me. so fucking noisy couldnt sleep. i prob got like 3 hours? You know whats the best thing? i live on the top floor! wtf?
Then around like 9pm i was damn sleepy.. but i didnt wana sleep so early wana try to set my internal clock back so i told myself to tahan till like 11 or 12. Guess what? im so god damn awake now! argggg!!!

Welcome back "John"

Lots of things going on in my life now. its gettin complicated again! arh. Heh i kinda made a huge decision yesterday. I cant really decide if its good or bad. Hmm maybe most would think its more to the bad side. Oh well i dun really care what happens to me anymore.

Yesterday was really funny! We were supposed to go ktv at bugis but we dint cause it wasnt really worth it haha paying 16 bucks for an hour? haha. So we went to play pool! Venus has a hidden talent of making people shoot the black ball in so she wins. =Z And jacob aint such a pussy when it comes to guys.. which makes me wonder.. hmm.. He dares to go up to a guy to say: "Hey my friend there is gay and he thinks your cute." or something like that. =O So.. after that we went to glass house cause jacob wanted to eat some "KATfish". =) Haha he dedicated More then words to kat! =D

Someone called me today! haha its kinda weird cause i haven seen or talked to her for almost 2 years? So out of the blue she calls me and askes me if im free on sat nite. She wants me to be her date to her class thingy. Damn its kinda funny cause she's 3 years older then me. Never went out with someone that much older. =Z Then again im always falling for people 2 yrs older then me. Bah its for fun anw =)

Damn my life has to much change! shucks maybe thats why im depressed. haha. Everyone is bugging me to create a facebook account! Maybe i should make one.. Damn its 3.20am.. i still got to read and summarize the stupid journal!! ARG! Its 14 pages of non stop words and more words then i ever heard and i feel so alive! Haha that just poped in my mind! guess what song it is! =) hint hint *Mraz* Anw im gona start reading that super boring journal. Tata!

I should have known better then to fall in love with you.

Emo.

Haizz... i got to try and sleep earlier. im sleeping at 6-7am everyday. My sleeping hours is screwed, my eating hours are worst. once i wake its school! so no food =( im eating like dinner and supper everyday. arh. shit i got to find out what is stress! Ms Cow is gona pick on me tmr. RAWR!

Weirddd...

I have no idea if this is super freaky or just damn cool. anw on wed nite or rather thurs moning i dreamt of someone.. Then.. the next day when i saw that person she look exactly the same.. from what she was wearing to the way her hair was done.. omg haha.

Anw we went steamboat at bugis after school. SiQi fries everything.. like seriously everything! Pro steamboat eater =D Oh well.. we went to the liang sia street desert rest after that i haven been that for so long.. ever since.. Anw the whole place changed alot! =D They opened a new side so more spaces to sit.. haha that place is always pack.

Anw i spent most of my time at home today. I met up with someone for like an hour in the afternoon. Hmm he had a really good deal for me. Arh.. Decisions, decisions decisions.

Heh im starting every paragraph with Anw.. haha. Its amazing how people fight over the simplest matter! Even old people! ok not that old Hmm yound adults. Esp when they just stop talking to each other because of this. And its happening all over the place.. haha im hearing so many stories about this kind of arguments! Where is the love people? Shake hands and make peace with each other!

I sound like a hippy! With the world peace and stuff. haha. Dum di dum di dum. My outing tmr got cancled=Z so im gona be totally bored tmr.. I need to find stuff to do! Oh btw people Drag me to hell was damn funny! haha Esp the part when the sheep started talking! Or when the old lady's eye balls poped out hahah! kinda reminds me of tom and jerry or happy tree friends =D

MSN WARS =D

Ok i think this is really cute.. Soo.. the thing is i know two people who dun really like each other that very much. So on their msn nick is a message trying to put down each other. So its like I write a personal message.. you see it, you write a personal message back at me. So its like an argument for the world to see! haha Aint they cute? like 2 couples fighting haha. =)

Fuck my head is hurting like shit now.. Stupid MINDEF started calling me the whole morning asking me to register! grr early morning..

Inside the wacky mind of Jing Wen

I was wondering what would i say if someone would ask me why im depressed. Alrite lets take a look at the complicated mind i have. So firstly i understand how your thoughts control everything. Then there is the reverse psychology. But see reverse psychology can be inturned reversed. Which can be reversed again.. Say lets say i want to sleep now. So i tell myself im tired.. But telling myself im tired might have the reverse effect and inturn make me awake. But telling myself im tired might allow me to rest.. but.. Seeing the picture now? Its now a never ending loop of questions and doubts. But then again i have the answers this questions and doubts and why they occur. But yet i dont have the solutions to it.. haha Alright.. that is just my mental state.
Ever heard of the battle between your heart and your mind? This just complicates things alot worst. Hmm see now im just debating with myself how to put this into words.. Its a whole big lot of mess up there which i understand but cant explain.
Like creating an entire scenario for a shrink. I give them what i want them to think and what they want to think. Like the time i was in GH i gave them the entire grief cycle although i dint know what it was at that point of time. haha. I think im trying to study them rather then get help from them. hmm.. Anw lets just say "With emotion comes with a lost of logic and with logic, a lost of emotion occurs." quote: somewhere up there.
So yeah i used to just make choices mostly based on my emotions.. so no much fight goes on there.. But after so many things happen.. i guess i had to re-evaluate everything. wooh that tooks months of isolation. I dont even like what came out of it. I guess i have low self-esteem. im just a really really good actor. Hmm this is a really boring post. Food for thought! =D Do an analyze on me! haha but then again how sure are you that i aint making up this whole thing? I love questions. =) im such a freak.

I can help someone, i can break someone, i just can't do anything about myself..

Emo Hippo part II =D

Heh i really need someone to talk to.. So many things going on now and no one to ask help or advice from! I wish my book could talk back to me haha. Arggg Someone i really wana bitch about.. haha i sound like a girl.. bitching about people.. but yeah arhh.. i kinda wish you were still around.. then we could talk all night long about stupid stuff.. heh.. now im all alone to deal with everything myself.. oh well at least i dont take it out on anyone.. dumdidumdidum i wonder if this is considered an emo post?

Anw my stupid back is pealing like crazy.. i cant rmb the last time i got sunburn.. haha kinda stoped trying to get tan since i realise i just peal and get fair again.. i know alot of you girls will kill for my skin! muhahaha. Nvm when i die u can peel it off and keep as souvenir. =D

I was wondering in the train today.. what religion i belong to.. I belief in the christian God but i aint christian cause im not following him.. Then im not satanic either cause i dun pray to the devil.. I aint a free thinker cause i belief in God.. so what am i? haha Im The Next Generation! Hmm come to think of it the plmc youths call themselven the Next Generation.. I aint seeing no generation there. I shall be the Revolutionary Generation then. =D Hmm i wonder if the whole youth will come after me.. =Z Kinda reminds me of that youth camp i was helping out at.. haha the whole camp chasing the torture chamber crew.. haha

There's a part of me seeking and desperately needing to open up

Emo Hippo in the house people!

Its better to be the right hand of the devil then in his path. How true is that? How about God? Is it better to be his right hand? Oh wait it doesnt matter.. cause he doesnt give a fuck! Haha im fucking emo right now.. So many stuff going on.. I just wrote like a 6 page journal entry in my emo book.. Which gerard thinks it should be a happy book cause its orange! haha. Arh..
Listening to save me by remy zero now.. Kinda reminds me of when i gave this song to someone.. You know what? i just realised that this is the longest time i haven been in a relationship.. Since my first of cause.. haha

I feel my wings broken in your hand
I feel these words unspoken inside
...
You were all i wanted
And all my dreams have fallen down
Crawling around

Somebody save me
Let your warm hands
Break right through me
Save me and i dont care how you do it.

Haha that aint the proper lyrics.. i just picked and twisted lines here and there.. Arhh Emo hippo! Used to feel the faith and now im tired of trying! haha im typing lyrics from whatever song is playin from my itunes now.. Seems like my itunes understands me best! =D pretty cool actually. Heh been studying psychology.. i wonder what stage i am at now! lalala random gibberish!

Look into the sun and see your soul is dieing..

I love Remy Zero anyone has any of their albums? i cant seem to find their songs to download..
Hmm i wonder if those people i stop contecting reads this blog.. I wonder if she reads? Prob not.. I wonder which she im refering to.. hmm.. Muhaha my life is soo mysterious.. i should be ray mystero Or jing mystero =Z. You can cry if you want.. but ill be hanging myself..

Maybe i should go out! who wants to go out with me at 4.40am =D we shall paint the town red baby! I think im high? really really emo or something.. Wooh on drugs..

Oooh i found something i wrote long time ago.. well in class haha and its purple! =D

If i died tonight
As my minutes tick away
I'll be gone tomorow
And my fears will fade away
As my last tears fall
Will you feel for me
Will you be ok
If i died tonight..

I really like this one.. haha i think its my frav.. If i ever died i want this written on my tombstone.. if i get one =Z Haha this is a really long stupid post =Z Sorry!! I want the chalet photos!! =D

Epic Boy Band!! =D

So what if you catch me.. where would we land.. Damn i have school tmr arhh. i cant sleep.. Hmm gota wake up at 10? i think.. to sleep or not to sleep? dum di dum di dum.. Hey are you lonely? Lets start a lonely people's club.. So we have a really lonely bunch of people together! yayness! haha i should stop now.. if your still reading you deserve a prize for that=D. Ok byess! i shall go slash my wrist and watch myself bleed or something.. I'm Hungry.. (>-.-)><(-.-)><(-.-<)

I'm tired.. really tired.. God put me to rest please..

Bah look ay my fugly peeling face..

Haha i like this from http://www.fmylife.com/ you guys should really check this out.. NOW! super funny anw..

Today, at work, i got my ipod stolen from my desk. I work in a police station. FML.

I was watchin who's line is it anyway. And they had this Good news, Bad news game. The point is to come out with a funny good news bad news.. Anw i forgot who. but the line was...

(Reading the news paper ) Oh Great! the damn elections are finally over! (Flips the page) OMG! Bush again?!!

Haha been seeing alot of funny stuff lately.. Anw my stupid sunburned face is pealing! i look like shit now. Bahh.. i dun wana go out! I should buy a Chase Crawford mask to wear out.. then again.. i already look like Bratt Pitt. Muahaha

Oh i kinda realised girls have some sort of secret lang.. haha maybe its just the younger ones.. anw it sounds quite cool.. i think theres the first letter of everyword is changed to F.. Fey Fhat Fuy Fs Fot? haha i wonder how long they took to pick it up. oh well.. Kids.. =D

I wish i was a teddy bear

Not living or loving or going no where

I wish i was a teddy bear

And im wishing that i hadn't fall in love with you

Silent Night
Lonely moonlit Night
This whispering voices in my ear
Are my thoughts I hear

She reminds me of what was lost
This heart reminds me of what I felt
One look into those eyes and im completely vulnerable
I once swore to myself never to let this happen
I can’t help but fall again

Now nothing’s right
And I should be stronger then weeping alone
But I can’t seem to shake this off
Can God be so cruel to send another Angel at me
This life once again troubled
By one so pure

Did the heart find his cure
Or has beauty thus killed this beast

School's starting

Schools starting in 2 days? Bah it was supposed to be 2 weeks of holiday.. oh well..

Class chalet went quite well! We dint get to go into och or ocb though and the games me and Venus planed dint get played. =( other then that everything went pretty well.. Sha u still owe me a forfit!

Bah something is wrong with my itunes! or mayb its just my com! argg. Anw lots of movies i wana watch! Transformers, night at the musuem, Drag me to hell, Monsters vs Aliens(its 3D!) and many moree! Someone be my movie buddy! (pref a girl, 2 guys watching movies is just gay!) Haha.

Heh im kinda too lazy to blog.. just too many things going on in my mind right now.. I wana go back like it was before. where everything was so simple. Oh well.. FML! =D Check out this webby! super funny.http://www.fmylife.com/