Never stop Smiling.

Just for you. You know who you are. ;)

Hi there!:)
We are not contecting for a certain reason but I know you read my blog so I'm posting this here. And if I could, I would sing this to you right now, like how I did on the last day we spoke.;) Just wanted to let you know, No matter how long its been there are still times when I think of you and suddenly it gets harder to breath. Then I start smiling for no apparent reason.:) Haha. Missed the days we spent together. Especially the wrestling.;) Hope you still haven't forgetten me or my number. :)

I know you're somewhere out there
Somewhere far away
I want you back
I want you back
My neighbors think
I'm crazy
But they don't understand
You're all I have
You're all I have

At night when the stars
light up my room
I sit by myself

Talking to the Moon
Try to get to You
In hopes you're on
the other side
Talking to me too
Or am I a fool
who sits alone
Talking to the moon

I'm feeling like I'm famous
The talk of the town
They say
I've gone mad
Yeah
I've gone mad
But they don't know
what I know

Cause when the
sun goes down
someone's talking back
Yeah
They're talking back

At night when the stars
light up my room
I sit by myself
Talking to the Moon
Try to get to You
In hopes you're on
the other side
Talking to me too
Or am I a fool
who sits alone
Talking to the moon

Ahh Ahh,
Ahh Ahh,

Do you ever hear me calling?
Cause every night
I'm talking to the moon
Still trying to get to you

In hopes you're on
the other side
Talking to me too
Or am I a fool
who sits alone
Talking to the moon

I know you're somewhere out there
Somewhere far away

I Won't Give Up

Jason Mraz - I won't give up.

When I look into your eyes
It's like watching the night sky
Or a beautiful sunrise
Well there's so much they hold
And just like them old stars
I see that you've come so far
To be right where you are
How old is your soul?

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up

And when you're needing your space
To do some navigating
I'll be here patiently waiting
To see what you find

'Cause even the stars they burn
Some even fall to the earth
We've got a lot to learn
God knows we're worth it
No, I won't give up

I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily
I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use the tools and gifts
We got yeah we got a lot at stake
And in the end,
You're still my friend at least we didn't tend
For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn
We had to learn, how to bend without the world caving in
I had to learn what I got, and what I'm not
And who I am

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up
I'm still looking up

I won't give up on us
God knows I'm tough, he knows
We got a lot to learn
God knows we're worth it

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up...


I really can't express how much I love this song. I have never understood what it means when they say "good things are worth waiting for." But for the first time, I understand. I know you are one of them. For a long time I have been looking for something, anything to make things feel right again. I don't know why or what exactly but you make me feel... good. Like things could be different. With you i feel peace. Something I haven't felt in the longest time. Peace. Something i have been searching for my entire life. So don't even bother asking me if that's worth waiting for. Cause thats the only thing I have been waiting for. And now waiting a little longer for it is really nothing.
At least now I know its out there. 
At least now I know you're here.
I believe in fate.

My Jester.

Sometimes I like to imagine myself performing in front of a small bar crowd. That’s the only way I seem to be able to express myself. Through music.
Its times like this I just want to be understood. I don’t want to feel better or have anyone solve any of my issues. More than anything I just want people to see who I really am, what I really feel and not feel turned off by it. And trust me I’ve tried opening up to people. But nobody expects this from me. These days the only thing expected of me is to keep smiling, to keep moving on. I feel like I don’t even have the time to process anything that is happening to me. I every time get hit, I’m expected get up instantly as though nothing happen. Every time I think reached my limit, I have to force myself to increase it to the next level. It’s like no one expects me to feel anything. I have to smile, laugh and joke all the time. Like the lonely jester forever hiding behind the mask of smiles.
So I keep moving on. To where? I really have no clue.
Cause right now all I can do is to do whatever it takes to feel a little better.

Victim of a foolish pride.

I'm a victim of circumstance

Always willing to take a chance
A unique individual

And my pain is residual
And with this duality

I say fuck this calamity
I'm aware of my sanity

But inside I don't wanna be
I've got this world on my shoulders

Weighing down like a boulder
All these things that I'm questioning

Is the sum above everything
Oh, I'm not bitching about this now

Try releasing but don't know how
It's too late to be looking back

It's the ways that I can react
Never mind the self pitying

Don't you follow that reasoning?
There's a purpose for everything

With that thinking I'm strengthening

Now with all the glamour and glory

Well, I'm not leaving don't worry
There's so much more to this story

Cause I'm an infinite quarry
This is my only version

Of what I see and imagine
Everything that I'm witnessing

Hey, is anyone listening?

~~ I'm broken and there's nothing I can do about it. 
If i'm not hurting myself, I'm hurting everyone around me. ~~

I see now but I still don't understand.

When you call she doesn't answer

When you write she doesn't answer
When you go out you see him with her

She told you she was sick at home
The ring you gave her

Thrown away with all the letters
And when you see him with her

He doesn't even care at all
As she follows him around like you follow her around
He doesn't even care and your figuring it out
The only way you’re gonna keep somebody around
Well I'm about to let you know
There's something I don't wanna understand
The only way a woman is gonna want a man
The only way you'll ever keep her in your hands
Is breaking apart her heart
Don't tell her she is the reason that you live
Don't give her everything that you got to give
If you want to keep the girl for as long as you live
Just break it apart her heart
Can't you see the way she's crying
Well that's what keeps her trying

She knew that she could have you
And he don't give her what she wants
There's truth about this

You say you want to be noticed
Well if you want to be noticed

You gotta learn to break some hearts
Don't try to understand
What I've become, what I've become
Can't you see? Can't you see?
I don't understand this cruelty

I don’t understand it’s just not me
I don't understand

But now I see

No easy way

Prisoned, but believing

I'm a victim of my instinct

Unravelling and reeling, think I'm wise

Watching the walls around me, falling down

Twisting my delusions, best beware

My peace can be deceiving

Steady in the deep end of despair

So far away, from safe and sound

I've lost control

So where do I run, where do I run now?

Cause there's no easy way out
When everything's comes undone

There's no easy way, no easy way, out