NSNS!

My ns letter aint here yet! Apparently Liang says I belong to the “Hokkien Peng” bunch and I’m only going in June or Sep. Damn it so many months wasted! I’m still hoping ns has forgotten abt me though =D
Time to get a Proper job with a Proper pay! =/

Another look inside my head.

I sat in a church service a while back. Take note that I haven’t been in a church for a while cause of what I’ve seen. In this church I went to. I talked to some of the “Christians” there. And everything’s still the same. Everything’s the same. No one’s really worshiping God. There’s only passion cause of the music played. What you see when u walk into what they call “the house of god” these days, are simply the house of men who think they are doing God’s will. I’ve no idea what churches have evolved to these days.

So where is the faith? When it’s so easy to fill someone’s head with doubt. Doubt itself manifests itself, evolves. “Faith as small as a mustard seed can move mountains” is repeated twice in the bible. But doubt. Doubt itself as small as a mustard seed can grow larger than the tallest mountain.

The times we’re living in now are times of logic. There is no absolute truth, all truth is relative. Where does faith come in? What your pastor or religious leader is teaching you is just an interpretation of the bible. And that bible his using is an interpretation of someone else. There is so much twisting in everything that I’ve lost my trust in people and even myself. The things I do subconsciously affect the way I think and vice versa.

I tell myself not to think so much about life. To live it day by day. There’s a famous saying “Live everyday as if it’s your last”. Yes it works. But what do you do when you realize tomorrow is going to come? I try so hard to get through every night only to realize tomorrow is going to be the same.

I used to think I have a purpose
Then it might have been a dream
I used to think I had a voice
Now I never make a sound
I feel their eyes watching
Waiting for me to lose myself again
I think I’m happy here
Sometimes I can still pretend..

Today's been a good day.. at least so far.. I passed my basic driving test! on the first try!! =D Hahaha im pro i know! =P Anw i found 1.50 chicken rice at hougang maul!! haha. Food these days are so damn exp.. i sound like some begger.. mm.. Anw i went home.. Went for a swim, then to the gym, back to the pool and into the sauna! Damn im taking a liking to saunas. haha. Anw im planning to get my pacs back! give me 3 mthss! muhaha.. lets hope i dont get lazy! =/

GPGPGP2!

Is tamiya cars popular again? On my way home today i saw tamiya car tracks set up! Man.. i used to love playing Tamiya cars.. spent at least a hundred on my car =/ Used to race it everywhere even in the drain. haha. I remember once a cat chased after my car!

Finally done with my GP. Haha have been sitting at my com from 6pm till now. Hmm first time i finished work so early. Im usually rushing it the night before. Or copping in class just before school starts during sec school. =D Good old days.. Still rmb when one of my teacher walked in before school started. At least 75% of the people were busy copping her homework. haha.

GPGPGP!

Ok seriously i have no idea why i chose manic depression for my gp. Its so damn complicated. Bipolar spectrum? wtf? Started in the early afternoon today and im stuck at 800 words.. gahh.. few thousand more to go!

Anw im damn fulll! Haha i just ate 2 mac meals =P Somehow i only get hungry after 12. My body system is really screwed up.

Oktoberfest is awsome! haha i always thought it was october fest. but its Ok to Beer Fest! =DD Damn my best friend is gona come back soon. I think i should start going to a gym =/ You know whats interesting? i think my bestfriend is growing but i aint gaining weight. haha. I want my abs back!! rawr!

It’s the thoughts of a poets last word
That gives comfort to the fallen
Dead, silent and ever changing
The beauty in sound of death

It’s not the monsters under your bed
Nor the creatures in your closet
That makes you fear
Just look into those eyes beside you

When would this wounds become scars?
For I wish not to die a scarless man
A lonesome soul
With nothing to loose

Teach me what is love
For what is real to me
What I see as love
Is nothing but a grain of sand on that vast beach of yours

Heaven carry me away
Away from the pain
From this world I can never understand
From myself

And to you..
I wish I didn’t feel for you anymore..

Bored Bored Bored!

This is going to be a sucky week. No ones free to go out with me. =( So im at home, doing nothing and gettiing boreder by the second. (is boreder even a word?)
I did everything i could possibily do at home yesterday. =/ I went to my house gym for the first time since i moved here. I went to swim.. And thus felt like pukeing the whole afternoon. i think i worked out too much. =/ Later that night I thought they were showing season 5 of supernatual on axn last nite.. but bleh.... season 4! i wana watch my season 5!!!
Anw its the start of today.. and im already at a lost to do.. i clicked around facebook for a while. Seriously how do u people find stuff to do on facebook! is kinda boring. Anw i was so bored that i did smthing i promised myself not to do. So.. im emoing up right now.. Arh.. I shall go shopping instead of posting an emo post here.. TATA world! And if i never come back.. dont miss me..