If only i could hate you half as much as i hate myself.

Why can’t I cry when I feel like dying inside? I know it’s been so long since we last spoke and you’ve found someone new. But don’t you know how much I still miss you? These wounds never seem to close no matter what I try. It feels just like yesterday. Every breath is a pain. Sometimes I wonder how I’m still alive. Sitting here right now listening to the last song you left for me. Well at least I’m not crying this time. Sometimes I wonder what it would take for you to notice me again. If I died would you be there? I’m starting to realize that ‘forever’ is just another one of those fairy tales that mothers tell their children to help them sleep at night. Nothing is forever. Life isn’t, happiness isn’t, love isn’t. Things end and people say goodbye and we have no choice in the matter. All we can do is sit and watch our lives ending one minute at a time. And it hurts my soul, because I can't let go, all these walls are caving in, I can't stop my suffering, I hate to show I've lost control, because I keep going right back to the one thing I need to walk away from. The saddest part is that with each passing day I feel like I need you more, but it's the fact that you don't need me at all.

The pain is there to remind me that I'm still alive

I’m alone right now
Just me, myself, and I
I’m looking at what’s left of me
Just waiting to cry

I can’t show my real feelings on the outside
But they’re tearing me up on the inside
It really sucks always feeling this way
But there’s nothing I can do anyway

And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I’m dying
Are the best I ever had

So give me life
Give me tears
So I can cry again
Give me myself again

No where Kids

In the land of dirt and plaster
lies an army of a thousand nowhere kids
Losing ground and falling faster
Into a life that no one should have to live

Behind the fake family image
Behind the smile of a thousand moms and dads
Inside the cage that we've been given
I see an image of the future that we don't have

We are the people that you hate
We are the bastards that you created
A generation with no place
A generation of all your sons and daughters

And what did you expect
A perfect child raised by TV sets
Abandoned every mile
We never get respect
Never a fair trial
No one gives a shit as long as we
Smile... smile...smile