Calm And Collapsed

I don't feel anything

Isn't that amazing

I don't want everything

Just a little bit of nothing

But even if it feels strange

It stands apart from nature

Is it just me lyin' here

Or is someone breathing

Why do I live in fear

When I'm not sure you're here

So break me down

And crucify me again

Givin' up a feelin', I'm feelin' no existence

Late at night, two in the morning.

Sometimes I feel like I’m seeing it all at once, and it’s too much. My heart fills up like a balloon that’s about to burst and then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it.

Wish I could remember the day my head started spilling out all of this, because I’ve come to notice that nothing I ever write really begins or ends anywhere. Maybe if I can find the starting point, I can have faith in an ending. I write the most when words seem to have escaped me verbally.

Ever felt the need to throw everything away in the biggest, dirtiest, loudest, most dramatic way possible?

“My father’s land, my mother’s tongue
Misleading me so shamelessly
For many years I misbelieved
The hatred is the path for me..”

Father I have killed many angels,
I think I will now walk to the sea.
I hope I will someday forgive me
Please moor
my empty boat on a pier

I can blame for the blue blood that runs in my veins.
But I seem to forget that we are all the same.

In your own blaze of hate you've spawned the fear in many lives
You've taken action thinking it was all said on the signs.
You cannot heal the feeling burning deep inside your spine
You now collapse, cave-in revealing scabby marks of life

Now I have time to dwell on, self awareness, dreadful crime.
I saw the colors too bright, not knowing that I was blind.
I slayed a man who took a chance and drank the forbidden wine.
The map I draw reveals that I have been complete, machine, in team.

Father I've seen too much, I hate to live my life.
Forgot every word you told me. Stubborn little child
I have to find my Eden now, the gates I left behind.
The pain will remain.
No power to gain. No!

Mother where's your son.
When has this begun?
Who has been the fool?
No one was born to be a servant or a slave.
Can you tell me the color of the rain?

In the world that we live in, the things said and done
They can well overrun
To live and let die
To give hope and take life
Is that what you're here for?

To think that you are right
To make sure it won't fly
Is the making of a hate crime

In the lands of the brave,
In the homes of the land slaves,
We are all the same

And I need to believe.
There's more than the eye can see
All colors of rainbow.

In the land we live, we die
praise the oneness, praise the lie
To bind a web around the faker
We will need a true
Rainmaker

"Children of Abel, Children of Cain
Can live in harmony, without shame
The keys that I grant thee, The Sacred Land
Are dry desert sand on the palm of your hand
Without the water, the wisdom of past
Will run through your fingers, forgotten so fast
Thus now when I leave you, I'm truly blind
This blindness, this blessing, the hope of mankind..."