Life may be meaningless but death I still have hope for..

Isn't it funny how everything always seems to fall apart at the same time.
How many times has the heart been through the grinder? So battered and bruised. So broken and confused. When life is finally done with me I wonder how this heart of mine will look. You know i really don't ask for much. Just for someone to love and care for and be treated the same way. I just don't understand why everyone seems to be able to find that someone while i just get.. i can't find a word to describe the people i meet.
Sometimes i feel like no matter how hard i struggle, life is just there gently coaching and nudging me off the edge. Like life itself is rejecting me from.. well life.
Right now im just so sick and tired of trying, so tired of learning from all the mistakes i make. So used to all this heartach that i cant remember what it feels like to smile..
But if theres one thing i still beleive in.. Is the will to change.

My concious lays a little heavy tonight

Why am i here back here again
To the point where it all began
The empty boxes on the stairs
Reminds me that no one’s there
Everything i thought would be
I could no longer see

As the tears they fall
I carry on on my own
Running and running now
I fall on my knees
Wondering how i lived in regret
Of those last words i said

Oh can i go back to where it all began
Where the boxes remained unpacked
To the night where we looked up at the stars
Where you told me you will always be
Be there for me

But where was I
Even moments before
I wouldn’t bring myself there
Scared of what i would see
So black so dark so deep
Now all those memories
Just keeps you alive in me

Dear God
Would you just give me one more minute
Let me turn things back
To how everything should be
Maybe then ill find
The thing that will set me free

Winter Flower

In love with the maiden, flower of winter
Singing a love song, words of a stranger
Poison crazy lush, screaming daisies
Melody of a lost song, drowning a killer
Burned by the embers of love, so cruel
Wherever you look a painful reminder
Howling for night, sun of the midnight
Late-night innuendo, temptation of the key

We are the Music-makers

We are the music-makers
And we are the dreamers of dreams
Wandering by lone sea-breakers
And sitting by desolate streams
World-losers and world-forsakers
Upon whom the pale moon gleams
Yet we are the movers and shakers
Of the world forever, it seems.

With wonderful deathless ditties
We build up the world's great cities
And out of a fabulous story
We fashion an empire's glory
One man with a dream, at pleasure
Shall go forth and conquer a crown
And three with a new song's measure
Can trample an empire down.

We, in the ages lying
In the buried past of the earth
Built Nineveh with our sighing
And Babel itself with our mirth
And overthrew them with prophesying
To the old of the new world's worth
For each age is a dream that is dying
Or one that is coming to birth.