Inside the wacky mind of Jing Wen

I was wondering what would i say if someone would ask me why im depressed. Alrite lets take a look at the complicated mind i have. So firstly i understand how your thoughts control everything. Then there is the reverse psychology. But see reverse psychology can be inturned reversed. Which can be reversed again.. Say lets say i want to sleep now. So i tell myself im tired.. But telling myself im tired might have the reverse effect and inturn make me awake. But telling myself im tired might allow me to rest.. but.. Seeing the picture now? Its now a never ending loop of questions and doubts. But then again i have the answers this questions and doubts and why they occur. But yet i dont have the solutions to it.. haha Alright.. that is just my mental state.
Ever heard of the battle between your heart and your mind? This just complicates things alot worst. Hmm see now im just debating with myself how to put this into words.. Its a whole big lot of mess up there which i understand but cant explain.
Like creating an entire scenario for a shrink. I give them what i want them to think and what they want to think. Like the time i was in GH i gave them the entire grief cycle although i dint know what it was at that point of time. haha. I think im trying to study them rather then get help from them. hmm.. Anw lets just say "With emotion comes with a lost of logic and with logic, a lost of emotion occurs." quote: somewhere up there.
So yeah i used to just make choices mostly based on my emotions.. so no much fight goes on there.. But after so many things happen.. i guess i had to re-evaluate everything. wooh that tooks months of isolation. I dont even like what came out of it. I guess i have low self-esteem. im just a really really good actor. Hmm this is a really boring post. Food for thought! =D Do an analyze on me! haha but then again how sure are you that i aint making up this whole thing? I love questions. =) im such a freak.

I can help someone, i can break someone, i just can't do anything about myself..