Another look inside my head.

I sat in a church service a while back. Take note that I haven’t been in a church for a while cause of what I’ve seen. In this church I went to. I talked to some of the “Christians” there. And everything’s still the same. Everything’s the same. No one’s really worshiping God. There’s only passion cause of the music played. What you see when u walk into what they call “the house of god” these days, are simply the house of men who think they are doing God’s will. I’ve no idea what churches have evolved to these days.

So where is the faith? When it’s so easy to fill someone’s head with doubt. Doubt itself manifests itself, evolves. “Faith as small as a mustard seed can move mountains” is repeated twice in the bible. But doubt. Doubt itself as small as a mustard seed can grow larger than the tallest mountain.

The times we’re living in now are times of logic. There is no absolute truth, all truth is relative. Where does faith come in? What your pastor or religious leader is teaching you is just an interpretation of the bible. And that bible his using is an interpretation of someone else. There is so much twisting in everything that I’ve lost my trust in people and even myself. The things I do subconsciously affect the way I think and vice versa.

I tell myself not to think so much about life. To live it day by day. There’s a famous saying “Live everyday as if it’s your last”. Yes it works. But what do you do when you realize tomorrow is going to come? I try so hard to get through every night only to realize tomorrow is going to be the same.

I used to think I have a purpose
Then it might have been a dream
I used to think I had a voice
Now I never make a sound
I feel their eyes watching
Waiting for me to lose myself again
I think I’m happy here
Sometimes I can still pretend..