Fuck Life!

I really feel like giving up. The past few weeks were just made up of parties and self abusing actions. Of shallow, surface decisions. I really don't know what else to do now. Going through night just trying to stop thinking about so many things. I'm just trying to get by without loosing it. Sometimes i dont even know why i feel this way. Everytime i close my eyes.. i picture myself falling. and it feels good. Its a solution. My only solution. Sometimes i feel like talking to someone. But after all that.. i don't think i can. I don't think im that messed up. I could be alot worse off. I'm just weak. I make choices cause its the right thing to do. Then regret it afterward. Maybe i should just let loose. Stop bothering what would happen. I don't think i have anyone to hurt anyway.