It is only when the will to live is lost; you realize that there is no end to your limits. For now there is no challenge in anything, neither is there a reason to prove anything to anyone. You see no superior power watching over even if it existed, for you know that the history of the world is the history of the triumph of the heartless over the mindless. Be it religion, faith, or the simple word belief no longer exists. You know you are in control of everything but there is no meaning to anything.
The world then starts to take on a totally different perspective and suddenly everything seems to fascinate you. Even the slightest thing such as a flicker of a candle makes you ponder about its purpose, its being. From it you try to derive a reason for yourself. But there is no longer an answer to anything. Everything you do now has a purpose behind it and everything is a cycle of prolonging your existence. You work to eat and sleep and eat and sleep so you can work.
You try to find joy in what others would consider but you feel nothing. For joy is just an illusion. And when you create an illusion, it becomes reality. But with the knowledge of this fact you no longer have the ability to do so. Your mind rejects your emotions for it is nothing but a weakness. Even though you know how or what you should feel, everything is just numbness. You then start to wonder if you really exist or if your just an illusion. But there is no way of finding out neither is there an answer to that.
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. But do you really want to be stronger. For with strength comes a lack of emotion which is what makes you real. Is the choice really yours? To die or become that. Everything makes perfect sense to you now. You know everything, have seen everything and can do anything. But why? What for? Finally the one question you fear so much has to be answered..
Am I safe from myself?
