Fuck.

Don't you just hate it when shit piles up. I just feel like doing something stupid tonight just stop thinking for like an hour or two. You know, something i know ill regret the next day. I just dont want to care about anymore. Fuck my future! Fuck my job! Fuck my life! Just Fuck everything. There's no point in any of it anyway.

I told someone else about the stuff that happened. And no it didn't make me feel any better. There's a reason why i don't talk about it. There's really no logical reasoning for me not to blame myself for what happened. It was all my fault. If i just didn't.. then She wouldn't have.. So young so stupid so blinded.

I wana cry so bad but this tears won't fall anymore. I wana die so bad but.. sigh..

I just feel like a time bomb just ticking away again. I still wonder why i try so hard to be this way. Why i don't go back to my old ways. I could have a lot more then what i have now. So what if i get caught? There's nothing that matters to me anyway. I have nothing to loose. Nothing to gain.

I'm just tired so very tired.

I wish you were still here. You would know what to do.